GRACE CHATTER

GRAB THE TEA AND HONEYY CAUSE BABY, ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. I think I will go with the lemon tea from Herbalife but add that HONEYYYYY you will be set. You must know, if I’m typing it has to be something….Honeyyyyy lets spill the tea…

So I was given the topic Remember and out of all weeks, why do I have to remember this….I’ve had so much I’ve wanted to talk about with you guys and He pulls this on Holy Week. Honeyyyyyy…..I guess He wants me to spill the beans.

I can never go a year without remembering what He has truly done for me. This week I will remember the true love, the week I really fell in love. It was real yall, I don’t even want to say the words. It happened, this was the week 2017 I almost walked out on God. Yep, it was me, little miss saved Tia since 2014, yep me.

April 9th, I was accused of entertaining other men. If you know me, everyone knows I know a lot of people especially. Some of my closest friends were men, but out of respect of who I was with I’ve even cut off my best male friends from college which was only (2) out of respect. But this day before church, a neighborhood friend text whom I’ve cut off due to that current relationship, sent me a text saying “ay your birthday coming up, make sure you have fun”. That text seen by the person I was with and it turned into I was cheating. But, let me tell you the whole time with this person, it was arguments, me not doing stuff right. Shoot the first disagreement was because I didn’t speak in tongues yet. I’ve only been saved a  HOT second. Like come on, let me love God first and get an understanding -_-. But back to the story…. I didn’t go to church that day, I was mad at God because why you let this lil boy waste my time again if this was going to happen. Everybody called, my sisters from church, first lady everybody like what’s wrong because I don’t miss unless it’s something serious and even if it is serious I still make my way to church. I isolated myself and sent everyone away. I went to the movies alone and saw “Case for Christ” and broke down in tears at the movies.

Y’all I was butt hurt because relationships while in ministry is tough and can be tiresome because you don’t have time to be doing anything else honestly. I was hurt not only that, but I hate being called a liar. Then the next few days, I had an interview at a Domestic Violence Shelter. I was excited and knew I would get it because I’ve interned at a shelter and shoot I had a passion for it being a victim myself. Guess what I didn’t get it!!!!

When I say I was livid at work, I had to step to the side office at US Bank to pray. I calmed down at work, but as soon as I got isolated, alone with my thoughts the enemy took advantage and said lets get it. I was on the phone with my mom once I got off the Metrolink to get to my car then more anger arose. If you know my mom, she just listening and calm. When you angry and frustrated, just talking to her can get you even more frustrated cause she is so calm, like, ugh be mad with me lol but that’s just her spirit.

But, I talked to this woman on the phone, angry and upset.

Me: Why is this happening

Mom: What’s wrong Tia

Me: Nothing is going right

Mom:….

Me: Everybody give they testimonies of God being Jehovah Jireh their provider, people got all these testimonies in the world about God. I DON’T KNOW THAT GOD THEY TALKING ABOUT. Aint nothing going right. I PAY my (hence I said PAY, I could never pay God back for anything I Give) I PAY MY TITHES AND OFFERING EQUIVELANT TO MY TITHES AND I DON’T SEE NO BENEFIT IN SERVING GOD period

Mom…..

Me: its so frustrating, I am doing what they said to do. I do what’s in the word and no benefit at all

Mom: Are you serving God because you want something from Him or Are you serving God because you love Him

Me:……….I guess love Him

Mom: If you love Him, getting stuff in return would not be your focus. Take a breathe and make sure you love Him

Me: I’ll call you back

As soon as I get off the phone, her question rang in my head. I lived alone so a lot of times it was just me and God. I sat there a good 4 minutes and bust out in tears, repenting with a sincere heart. Why? Because I didn’t love God with my whole heart. I cried out for an hour begging God to forgive me and to heal my heart. After I repented, I remember the sermon, Pastor Gray preached that Friday night, before Holy Week, “Be watchful next week, its Holy Week, remember Jesus went through that week. Remember the enemy was at an all time high that week, so be watchful”

Y’all, I was so embarrassed, but God sent a comforter when I needed. My mom called back and said “hey, what you doing Monday. I said nothing (not knowing Monday the 17th was my birthday), she said come to prayer with me” and the rest is history with deliverance and truly loving God for being God alone.

I was wondering why God gave me this topic to remember and I really didn’t want to remember, but this week is a reminder of what God did personally for me and look at this week as a total blessing to still be here. I found myself experiencing some of those emotions and I tried my best to fight them, but they just burst out. God takes us through so many trials and tribulations that at the moment are hard, but later on you appreciate the trial that you were through. It made you fall in love with God.

Never allow the enemy to make you to forget the promises that God gave. God gave me promises before this incident and that knuckle head boy was not one of the promises, but he was a part of my Testimony of my relationship with God. Me feeling less than was not his promise. The devil tried his best that week to keep me defeated, but God sent someone to help me through my valley.

I have nothing more, but to ask you…Remember. Remember a time when you thought I was done. I can’t even do this anymore. Remember and then remember who God sent your way during this time. Really analyze the hand of God that was shown. As you remember, let that love build up for God as we remember Jesus this week, this Holy week. Remember, each day up to that day, turning over tables, healings, last supper, the beatings, up until the cross. Remember everything and if it still hurts, lets nail that to the cross and remember God can take the pain away if you let Him.

I pray for release in Jesus name and comfort to everyone who takes the time to read and remember that distinct moment when God stepped in…

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rode and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head will oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of me life: and I will dwell in thehouse of the Lord forever” Psalm 23

That scripture just dropped in my spirit, all because of valley of the shadow of death. Defeat is a shadow, it looks like death but its not. It’s a shadow, its not what it seem.

Be Blessed this week and release those things you are carrying. It’s too heavy.

Grace Chatter